mod podge

last night
i was lying in bed when i noticed a grayish-purple schodinger's equation hovering and rotating above my bed like the "3D Text" screensaver on windows 95. i made several attempts to grab it and pull it down with me but my hands kept passing through it. "it's probably just a hologram," i thought. that explanation satisfied me and i went back to sleep.

last week
i'd discovered how to go back in time, and i went through the past few years of my life correcting all my perceived mistakes: choice of colleges, relationships, etc. frustratingly, every change i made only made my life more boring until, after the sixteenth or seventeenth iteration, i found myself sitting in a room in hitchcock making pink cutout chain people for fun. thank you for the sermon, subconscious.

a while ago
some fat little kid mischeviously pointed at me and told me i had a mustache. all the adults who were around thought it was adorable and kept laughing about it, which only made me more pissed.