Wednesday, November 07, 2007

two kinds of nightmares in one night :(

I was hiking through the woods in the winter with a handful of middle-aged strangers. A bear/raccoon/German shepherd attacked us and I hacked it to pieces with the axe I was carrying. Then one of the travelers found a collar. I was enraged.
"How could you possibly not have told me that was someone's pet, you bastard?" I screamed.
He clarified that he had not found the collar on the animal I had killed, and that it was completely closed (i.e. not broken off), so it was unlikely that it had ever even been on that animal. I believed him and thanked God. But before our hike was over a wolf attacked us and I had to protect the group again, sobbing the entire time.

Finally we reached our destination: a tall, varnished pine farmhouse. My whole extended family, plus another, was there. The house had recently been completed, built in a few days by family and friends in the barn-raising fashion. I was going to get married and live there. My future husband's name was apparently Ed Vanders. He looked like a hardworking farmer version of Stephen Colbert. My aunts couldn't/didn't fathom that I could possibly be unhappy about the event.
O joyous life of pies

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