no boxers, no boxers' grandmothers, just briefs

1/6/2008
I have a Pokémon. It's a Lapras. Hilarity ensues.

1/5/2008
I'm at Tower City with my parents. We stop in a sparse, hyperexpensive makeup store. It's staffed by two teachers from my middle school.
"Do you still have those things you can put on your hair to temporarily dye it?" I ask.
"Yes, right in that drawer," says one of them.
I open the drawer and choose a blue thing. I dye my hair blue with it, then realize Christmas is coming up and my parents aren't going to like that in the photos, so I try to rub it out. Now it's horribly spotted with blue. I run to the showers in the back of the store and try to shampoo it out.
As I run water over my head, Jon Stewart stands in the corner of the shower, wearing a centurion outfit and shouting Gregory Peck's lines from "To Kill a Mockingbird".

1/4/2008?
In an downtown Cleveland apartment, it's the 1940's. The apartment is swaying like a boat, and at one point it lifts itself into the air, flies across the street, and settles atop a building over there.
"Don't worry, that's just the building settling," says Ugly Betty's father.

Later Nick and I are in an elevator in the Shoreland. The houses' O-Week committees have painted the entire lobby black, replaced the lights with blacklights, and glued neon stars and silver corrugated cardboard borders a la kindergarten everywhere.
We call an elevator. The Southwest arrives. We walk in and about 7 kids pile in behind us. We hit the button for Michelson house (on the sixth floor).
The elevator reaches Dewey (5), then falls. A girl in green screams. The elevator lurches sickeningly upon reaching Fallers (3) and begins to climb again. When it hits Michelson, though, it falls never stops falling. I hold Nick's hand and wake up before we hit the ground.